The Male Gaze in Life

When studying art history in high school, the idea of the male gaze in art was discussed at length. What it meant to be a woman in life, during various time periods. What it meant to be a woman in an artwork. Men typically viewed art, so it was all about them. Men commissioned other men to paint images of women for men. So the term 'the male gaze' was coined to describe how art was viewed. Jump forward to 2018 and the male gaze can still be discussed in regards to art, but it's probably a lot more relevant to focus on the male gaze in film, music and photography. 

With recent uproars and controversies relating to the seedy underbelly of the international film and television/entertainment industry, it seems appropriate to note that lately, I've felt the male gaze more than ever. I've seen and heard men watching me and I've had enough.

The male gaze I'm referring to is in life. On trains. On the street. In cafes.

I'm not saying it's illegal to look at someone, but at a certain point, unwanted attention just becomes too much to handle. I have my ways of dealing with it, but why should I have to?

This feeling of being observed and ogled isn’t confined to Western countries. In fact, I feel it when I travel to Asia, in varying degrees. On one hand it could be because I am not Chinese and may seem interesting to look at, it could be a cultural difference about staring, but on the other I just feel plain objectified a lot of the time. It’s gross.  

In America, the male gaze also extends to verbal comments from strangers. I can barely go outside without a man commenting on my hair or the clothes I've chosen to wear that day. The feeling I get from it, is that I am obligated to respond. I'm supposed to say "thank you" when they say "cool hair" or "nice jacket", but really, I think I'm allowed to ignore them. I don't think that should be considered rude. Firstly, I don't know them, so it's not rude. Secondly, I didn't dress for strange men or dye my hair to get compliments from men I don't know on the street.

Similarly to when women tell tales of cat-calling or sexual abuse, I've had other women say to me that I should expect comments on my appearance, because of my appearance. Wearing colourful clothing and having pink hair, must mean I want attention and would love strange men to approach me. I find this deeply shocking. I do not dress for anyone but myself and I do not think any woman should be told she's "asking for it".

I don't really know what else to say about the topic, but am open to discussion.

Do you think if a woman dresses plainly with natural-coloured hair she is doing so to avoid confrontation?

Do you think I'm asking for strangers to comment on my hair because it's pink?

Do you feel the unwanted gaze of men?

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